Things Unseen
by lorien829
Summary: Chakotay's vision quests begin to haunt him after the loss of Kathryn Janeway.rnRated PG-13 to be safe. Chapter 10 Up!
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: No ownership; just coveting.

**_Things Unseen_**

**Prologue**

Chakotay coughed heavily, his lungs rejecting the ash and dust filled air he was trying to inhale. His throat closed convulsively, and he gagged as he attempted to swallow. His eyes were burning, and streamed tears. He told himself that it was from the acrid smoke that now permeated the air, but he wasn't entirely sure of that.

He tried to wipe his eyes, with one hand, but checked the movement, when he saw how grimy it was. Upon trying to wipe his hands on the front of his uniform, he discovered that its state was no better. His uniform was now mostly a muted grey. He blinked hard, and tried to peer through the thick smoke.

He took a few steps forward, rubble crunching underneath his boots. He could see almost nothing, but everywhere he could hear the cries of the wounded. There was the stench of leaking fuel and burned flesh.

"Kathryn!" He called out hoarsely. "Kathryn!"

There was no answer.


	2. Chapter One

Disclaimer: No ownership; just coveting.

**Things Unseen**

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**Chapter One**

_**Three days earlier...**_

Captain Kathryn Janeway stared intently at the wedge-shaped ship on the viewscreen. It was a good deal smaller than _Voyager_, but was armed to the teeth.

"Captain, we are being hailed," Ensign Harry Kim informed her from Ops. She exchanged glances with Commander Chakotay, seated as always to her right.

"Onscreen," she said tersely. An alien of slight build appeared on the screen. He had thin membranes below his mouth that vibrated when he talked, giving his voice an underlying hum. "I am Captain Kathryn Janeway, of the Federation starship _Voyager._ How can we help you?"

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Captain. I am Vanis, commander of the _Nechaka_. The feats of the intrepid _Voyager_ have already been heard, even in this sector. I am sent by the leaders of the Torvalan system, to extend an invitation to you. You and your crew are in need of replenished supplies, yes?"

"There are supplies that we could use," Janeway replied. "Perhaps we could arrange a trade?"

"We would be happy to help in any way that we can. We can proceed to Torvala Seven. It is the garden spot of the entire system. Your crew would surely enjoy a break from their duties."

"We thank you for your hospitality," Janeway said graciously. Vanis nodded his head, in a gesture something like a bow, and blinked off the screen.

"He is sending us the coordinates for Torvala Seven," Kim announced.

"Lay in a course, Mr. Paris. Neelix has been complaining about the state of his larder for the past week," she murmured in an aside to Chakotay, who chuckled.

"Yes, and the doctor has been complaining about the number of cases of indigestion he has been treating lately," he said. Kathryn grinned at him.

"Let us hope we can remedy the situation. Janeway to Engineering," she raised her voice on her last remark.

"Torres here," responded her chief engineer.

"Compile a list of supplies you could use in engineering. We may be stopping for a few days."

"Aye Captain," B'Elanna replied. "Torres out."

"Captain, I must remind you –" came Tuvok's precise tones.

"Tuvok, I assure you I have no intention of authorizing shore leave, without checking the planet first. We will conduct trade with the Torvalans first, and if everything meets with your approval, we will rotate down to the surface. The crew haven't been off of the ship in weeks."

"Understood," the Vulcan replied stolidly.

"I'm sure there will be nothing to worry about. The Torvalans seem friendly enough."


	3. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: No ownership; just coveting.

**Chapter Two**

**_Two hours earlier..._**

"Entering orbit around Torvala Seven," Lieutenant Paris announced from his position at the helm.

"We're being hailed from the planet's surface," Kim said.

"Onscreen," Janeway ordered.

A Torvalan appeared on the screen, wearing some kind of green ceremonial robes, with two Torvalans that were obviously aides standing diminutively behind their leader. The leader appeared to be female, judging from the elaborate headpiece and jewelry she was wearing. The timbre of her voice confirmed this.

"Captain Janeway, you do us honor," she said regally.

"We appreciate your willingness to conduct business with us. We have discovered that friends are a valuable commodity in this quadrant." Chakotay smothered a grin. Kathryn was playing diplomat to the hilt.

"Would you and your team care to transport to the surface and commence negotiations? We will transmit the coordinates."

After closing the comlink, Kathryn stood, and turned to Tuvok. "Mr. Tuvok, you have the bridge. Have Lieutenant Ayala report to the ready room. Chakotay, Paris, you're with me," she turned without waiting for a response, and strode briskly to the turbolift.

The four away team members materialized in a large chamber of what seemed to be some kind of government building. The Torvalan they had spoken to earlier was standing with her aides.

"I am Valana, first prefect of Torvala Seven," she introduced herself. "These are my aides, Secretaries Veghan and Vurodi."

"It is a pleasure," Captain Janeway said warmly. "I am Captain Kathryn Janeway. This is my second-in-command, Commander Chakotay, my helmsman Lieutenant Tom Paris, and security officer, Lieutenant Mike Ayala."

Valana raised her eyebrows. "Security, Captain? I assure you our planet is a very safe place."

"I meant no disrespect, First Prefect. Lieutenant Ayala's presence here is merely to ascertain the locale with regards to shore leave for the crew." Valana nodded, and seemed mollified by Janeway's explanation.

"Understand, Captain, we have our dissidents, as I'm sure do all societies, but they pose no threat to the populace." She led them through a set of large double doors, to a teeming square, complete with a large marketplace and beautiful fountains. "This building is our capitol, but the commerce building is just across the way." She gestured to a large, many-windowed structure. "I thought you would enjoy a look at the 'locale'." Her amused tone caused both Janeway and Chakotay to look sharply at her, but her features gave nothing away.

The Torvalans and the away team had crossed half of the covered portico in front of the capitol building, heading toward the stone stairs leading to the street, when there was a deafening roar, followed by the low rumble of angry stone.


	4. Chapter Three

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**__**

Disclaimer: No ownership; just coveting.

****

**Chapter Three**

**_Present..._**

Chakotay tapped his combadge, "Chakotay to _Voyager_." He struggled to peer through the ash. Vague moving shapes began to appear, ghostlike, around misshapen lumps of stone and metal.

"Tuvo..." crackle, "some kind....ference... the planet." There was more static. "...mander, do you read?"

"There's been an explosion," Chakotay shouted. "I can't find the rest of the away team. I can't find the captain."

"...tect two other human lifesigns....your proxim....tempting to lock on..." Tuvok's voice dissolved into static once again.

"Hold on, Tuvok! There were four of us." Fear and dread clawed at Chakotay.

"The sensors only... three hu... eed to return immediately." Chakotay's features shuttered, as he went on autopilot. He knew that if there was continued danger, as first officer, he needed to be on _Voyager_. It did not make him feel less guilty about whomever he was leaving behind.

"Lock on the human signatures, and beam us up," he ordered. He felt the familiar tingle steal over him. With him on the transporter pad, were Paris and Ayala, looking as bewildered and grimy as he felt. Paris had a jagged cut above one eye that was trickling blood. Ayala was cradling his left arm. They looked at each other in alarm.

"Did either of you see the Captain?"

"No," Paris responded, "We were both thrown into the street, off to the side." Chakotay nodded to indicate that that had happened to him as well. "If she was still near the building when those columns collapsed..." his voice trailed off. Chakotay hit his combadge.

"Chakotay to Tuvok," he said urgently.

"Tuvok here."

"Contact the Torvalans. Find out the cause of that explosion. If there seems to be no additional danger, send a security team down there. Keep scanning for the captain. I'm on my way to the bridge."

"Commander.." Ayala tried to interject.

"You and Paris report to sickbay," Chakotay interrupted tersely, and then he was gone.

When he strode onto the bridge, he was all business, squelching the agony he felt in his soul at Kathryn's unknown status.

"Tuvok, have you been in contact with the Torvalan government yet?" he asked.

"I have spoken with a deputy minister. They are understandably in some chaos at this time. I understood their leader to have been killed in the explosion."

_The First Prefect_, Chakotay thought. Kathryn had been standing right next to her.

"Do they know what caused the explosion?"

"There is apparently a splinter group trying to oust the current administration. The minister informed me that the rebels do not approve of the recent election of a woman to the highest seat of government. There have been several assassination attempts."

"Then it had nothing to do with our presence on the planet?"

"On the contrary, the minister believes that hearing of _Voyager_'s imminent arrival, also with a woman in a position of ultimate authority, may have sparked this latest act of terrorism."

"Take them both out, make a more powerful political statement," Chakotay murmured, his heart aching. _Kathryn._

"So it would seem, Commander."

"We've been up here long enough. We need to find the captain," Chakotay said, not waiting for a response from Tuvok. "Chakotay to Sickbay."

"Sickbay here," came the voice of the EMH.

"How are Paris and Ayala?"

"Lieutenant Paris has laceration above his eye, as well as a concussion. He will cleared for duty tomorrow. Lieutenant Ayala broke his left ulna and dislocated his elbow. The damage has been repaired."

"Good. Doctor, get your emitter and report to the transporter room. I want you down on the surface with us in case the captain is injured."

"Aye, sir," the doctor replied. Chakotay turned to Tuvok, his tone and look brooking no argument.

"Have two security officers report to the transporter room. You have the bridge." He looked at Tuvok. "I _have_ to go down there." Tuvok looked back at him for a long moment.

"I understand, Commander."


	5. Chapter Four

**Disclaimer: **Same old, same old.

**Things Unseen**

**_Chapter Four_**

The away team shimmered into existence on Torvala Seven. Increased visibility had not improved the look of things. Twisted shapes that had once been buildings stood irregularly here and there. In some places, the very surface of the roadway had been ripped up. The beautiful fountain Chakotay had noticed earlier had been smashed, and the water steamed and bubbled, choked with ash and gravel. There were people moving to and fro industriously, medical personnel with stretchers, security officials, and, of course, the media.

"She was over here," Chakotay indicated to the doctor and the security officers. He led the way toward what had once been the capitol building. It was mostly destroyed, with a few broken columns jutting up like jagged fingers. The roof of the portico was in huge pieces on the floor below it, as well as most of the front wall. In some places, the rubble was twice the height of Chakotay.

"Excuse me," Chakotay ventured to a Torvalan who was recording something avidly on a video device nearby. "Is this where the First Prefect was found?"

"Yes, it is," he waved at a cordoned-off area with his hand. "How senseless." He did not stop recording.

"Have they found anyone else in this debris or in the building?"

"Only bodies. The Prefect's aides were also dead. They had to secure her body first; they haven't moved the aides, or looked any further. There's not much hope for anyone inside. The entire roof collapsed."

Dread twisted around in Chakotay's gut, and he felt his throat close. He cleared it impatiently.

"Start your search in and around this building. Standard search grid. If you see anyone in need of help, help them, but remember that Captain Janeway is our first priority."

Tuvok's men (they were Lieutenant Mitchell and Ensign Gutierrez if he remembered correctly) nodded in a business-like manner, and moved off in a careful pattern that would ensure that they missed nothing. Chakotay and the EMH stayed on the ruined portico.

Chakotay ducked under the tape blocking the area where the First Prefect had died. He paced around the area – the entire south end of the platform – and thought aloud.

"The blast came from inside the building. The concussion knocked Paris, Ayala, and myself out into the street. But the First Prefect and her aides were found here. Kathryn was closer to them."

"Where were you in relation to the captain?" The EMH asked.

"We were a little behind her, and more to the north. The staircase used to be a lot wider." This was said with a kind of mirthless chuckle. The south end of the stone stairs had been all but obliterated, crushed by a falling column. "If this is where the First Prefect fell, then Kathryn would have to be near..." he trailed off.

"If she is here, then the possibilities of her being alive are slim," the doctor said in a tone that bordered on gentle.

"I...know.." Chakotay swallowed hard, and appeared to have difficulty speaking. He looked around randomly. Here, the roof had caved in and the front wall had blown out. Large chunks of rock were piled up against one pillar that remained standing. _No one could survive that kind of impact_, he thought. And then he saw it. Just a tinge of color in the otherwise gray wreckage. He hurried over to the spot, raking his hand too close to a jagged slab and gashing it open. He didn't even notice.

He managed to move a couple of rocks, before his bleeding hand protested. Nausea assailed him as he looked at what he had uncovered.

"Doctor!" he called out hoarsely. Captain Janeway was indeed buried in the rubble, although all that was visible was one arm, with the Starfleet Command red sleeve being what had caught his gaze. Her hand was limp and lacerated.

The EMH rushed over and took a pulse, as Chakotay tried frantically to move some of the larger rocks aside. He stopped at the doctor's upraised hand. The EMH's mouth was pressed into a thin line.

"There's no need for haste, Commander. I'm afraid the Captain is dead." He pulled out the medical tricorder and scanned. "I'm reading no lifesigns. Whatever was interfering with the communications earlier is interfering with the tricorder's readings as well, but..." his voice trailed off, and he gestured with one hand. The evidence spoke for itself.

"No," was the single syllable that escaped the first officer's lips, and he seemed to be unaware that he had spoken. He knelt down beside the pile of rubble, and took her hand, gently smoothing his fingers over the abraded skin and broken nails. Tears flowed down his face, unchecked and unnoticed. He murmured something over and over again in a language the doctor did not know.

The EMH backed away unobstrusively, trying to give _Voyager_'s new captain at least a moment to privately grieve. He did not look forward to what he had to do next. He tapped his communicator.

"EMH to _Voyager_..."


	6. Chapter Five

**Disclaimer:** See previous. 

**AN: **Thanks to all who have reviewed so far. Feedback is much appreciated.

**Chapter Five**

Chakotay returned to _Voyager_, looking somewhat dazed, but determined, as if he couldn't believe what was happening, but was going to do what needed to be done. The EMH put a hand on his arm, as they strode from the transporter room.

"If this had happened to you, and I was dealing with Captain Janeway, I would order you to rest. You need some time to assimilate the situation."

"If you order me to my quarters, I will order your program wiped," Chakotay's voice was that of soul-weariness. "And would that it were reversed. I would give anything if it had been me instead of her."

"Just remember," the doctor said gently, "the crew is going to be looking to you, and you need to be capable of the leadership they need." Chakotay nodded.

"I know, doctor. Thank you." He boarded a turbolift to the bridge, and tapped his commbadge.

"Chakotay to the bridge."

"Tuvok here."

"I want you and Lieutenant Torres to meet me in the ca-captain's ready room." His throat closed up, and he almost choked on that word. Tuvok made no comment, other than,

"Aye, sir."

When he arrived in the ready room, the other two officers were already there. _B'Elanna must have been at her bridge station, _Chakotay mused. They both stood as he walked into the room.

"I take it that the news is not good," Tuvok observed.

Chakotay closed his eyes, swallowed, and, unable to speak without breaking down, managed to shake his head in the negative. There was a muffled cry from B'Elanna. When he looked up, she had one fist pressed up against her mouth.

"Have you decided on our next course of action..._Captain_?" Tuvok paused only slightly before the title, but it hung heavily in the room.

"I... I want a team down there with some anti-grav equipment, so we can recover her..her body," he said with difficulty. "B'Elanna, I want you to oversee how we can do that. The area is very unstable. I don't want to cause more damage, or risk more lives. Offer what assistance we can to the Torvalans, but I want to get our supplies and get out of here, as soon as possible." There was a silence.

"Are – are you okay, Chakotay?" B'Elanna ventured, after a moment. He met her gaze for the first time since he'd entered the room.

"No, I'm not." His voice was almost angry. "I loved her. Did you know that?"

B'Elanna almost smiled then. "Everybody knew it."

"I think even she knew it," Chakotay's laugh was bitter. "And we never did a damn thing about it. We always put it off, I let her put _me _off. We always thought we had time. Always time. And now...she's gone, _gone._" There was a note of disbelief in his tone. "And it's forever."

B'Elanna's eyes filled with sympathetic tears at the shine in her old friend's eyes. She enfolded him into her arms, and he went limp against her smaller frame, and cried. Heavy, wracking sobs shook his body, and she held him wordlessly, until the storm was spent. They both seem to have forgotten Tuvok's presence, until Chakotay finally straightened and stepped out of B'Elanna's embrace.

"Tuvok, I'm sorry." Chakotay was trying to restore his composure.

"I have found that humans often need an outlet for their negative emotions. It is good that you were able to do so in the presence of friends, and it will only help you to continue to cope with the situation in which you find yourself thrust." Tuvok looked at him for a moment, and appeared to be trying to transmit strength to him. Chakotay realized with wonder that Tuvok had known Captain Janeway for a long time, and this was most likely hurting him as well.

B'Elanna left then, with parting promises to be there for him whenever he wanted to talk, and began to assemble her recovery team and equipment.

"I'd really like to keep you at tactical, Tuvok, but I think you are the best choice for first officer." Chakotay said finally. "Lieutenant Paris would be my next choice, but he's a medic and the best pilot we've got. I don't want to overextend him. Can Ayala take the security chief job and man tactical?"

"Lieutenant Ayala is most capable. I have no doubt in his ability to perform the job to your standards." Chakotay nodded, all business, though his tension was still evident by the set of his jaw.

"Then, we'll give you field commission to full Commander, and Ayala and Paris to Lieutenant Commander. Put Paris as third officer, and Ayala as fourth." He thought a moment, and said. "Promote Harry to Lieutenant, and make him fifth." He stopped, and appeared to be steeling himself for some unpleasant task. "I guess now it's time to let everybody know. Open shipwide channel."

The computer trilled obediently.

"_Voyager,_ this is Co- Chakotay. It is my unpleasant duty to inform you of the sad news that Captain Kathryn Janeway was killed in the explosion down on Torvala Seven." He was barely holding on to his composure. "I will be accepting the position as your captain. Commander Tuvok will be your executive officer. Other promotions are pending.

I know all of you grieve for the captain's loss as I do. We are making every effort to recover her body, and will inform you regarding a memorial service as soon as possible....Kathryn, we'll miss you. Chakotay out." He sagged in his chair as soon as the channel closed.

"Tuvok, are you okay?" he asked.

"Captain Janeway has long been someone that I have been proud to call friend. Her loss was untimely and unnecessary, and I shall always...miss her." Tuvok replied. "Vulcans do not experience grief to the extent that humans do..."

"You're lucky," Chakotay interjected, sourly.

"..and I shall be fine, Captain. Thank you for your concern." Tuvok finished, his tone as warm and gentle as Chakotay had ever heard.

"Thanks, Tuvok." Chakotay extended a hand, and, after a moment of hesitation, Tuvok clasped it. They shook firmly, each regarding the other, realizing that they were now the command team, and would have to work together to achieve Kathryn's dream of getting them home.

"Torres to Chakotay," came over Chakotay's commbadge. B'Elanna sounded extremely upset.

"Chakotay here. B'Elanna, what's wrong?"

"We're down here on the planet. And the captain's body is gone."

"Gone? B'Elanna, _what_?" Chakotay sat up from his slouching position on the sofa.

"You heard me. Gone. These _p'takh_ bureaucrats have mislaid it or something. They can't find it," B'Elanna growled.

"Did they say they moved it?"

"Some underling did...he didn't realize she wasn't Torvalan, or some damn fool thing like that. She may have been taken with the other Torvalan victims."

"Well, where are they? B'Elanna, I don't want to leave without her."

"Chakotay... the Torvalans cremate their dead."

TBC


	7. Chapter Six

**Disclaimer:** See previous.

**AN:** Thanks to all who reviewed. It is much appreciated.

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**Chapter Six**

There was heavy choking silence on the bridge. They were waiting for him to give the order. He _had_ to give the order. He knew that the crew would stay in orbit as long as he desired, but... there was no point. _Just say it_, the new captain told himself sternly, _just open your mouth and say_

"Commander Paris, prepare to leave orbit. Resume course and speed toward the Alpha Quadrant." His voice was hoarse. Chakotay felt his ears ringing in the all-consuming quiet. _So quiet_. He felt like he was going mad.

"Aye, sir," came Paris' mechanical response.

The hum of _Voyager_'s engines rose in pitch as she changed direction gracefully and accelerated. Stars stretched out to streaks, and there was a flash as the ship went to warp.

"Good-bye, Kathryn," Chakotay mouthed, the words not even audible. He mused over the events of the last several days.

_The Torvalans had been "so sorry". It had been some kind of miscommunication. Chakotay had felt the irrational need to hit someone, but he had restrained himself. The First Prefect was dead, and the remainder of the government was in understandable chaos. Some random assistant deputy sub-minister of Something or Other had ordered her body, along with the bodies of the aides, removed. They were cremated quickly and without much ceremony, as was their custom, while some Torvalan equivalent of a shaman performed a "Crossing" ritual. After about a day and a half of haranguing by Chakotay, a morgue official had been able to locate the captain's pips and communicator in a small box labeled "Unidentified female 8"._

_When Chakotay had seen the four small pips and the communicator laying in the bottom of that box, he had felt his vision begin to darken around the edges. Until that moment, he had hoped against hope that maybeâ€just maybe, it wasn't true. Maybe it was some horrible hallucinationâ€a holodeck training scenario gone awry, a physical aftereffect of some of Neelix's cooking. Maybeâ€ but no, it was true, it was real, as real and tangible as the golden communicator._

_Then, something else in the box had caught his attentionâ€a delicate pendant on a thin gold chain. She had evidently worn it underneath her uniform. He dangled it from two fingers, and saw that the pendant was a carefully shaped and polished stone of a pale shimmery purple. He recognized it as one he had given her on New Earth. She must have attached the hardware herself. Evidently, she always wore it. The room reeled around him, and he found himself gazing into the concerned face of Tom Paris. He had opened his mouth to explain, but was only able to hold up the necklace, before he had to stagger to a corner, and be sick in a waste receptacle._

Unconsciously, he reached up to his own uniform front, and felt the slight irregularity underneath that was the pendant. As she had worn it as a mute testament to what they could have had, so he would wear it to remember what was always lost.

_Kathryn is dead. Kathryn is dead. _It thrummed in his head like a mantra, and yet each repetition was like prodding an open wound. He welcomed the pain... it made him feel a little less dead inside.

"We are now exiting the Torvalan system, Captain," came Ayala's voice from tactical. Chakotay did a double take, and then noticed Tuvok sitting in the commander's chair next to him. His figure slumped almost imperceptibly, as the pain was brought to him afresh, from a different angle.

He realized that that had happened many times throughout the week they remained in orbit around Torvala Seven. Little, tiny things that he would never have taken notice of were brought agonizingly to his attention. When he was in the ready room, he never sat in her chair. In his mind, that was still _her_ chair. He generally started guiltily whenever anyone addressed him as Captain. The steaming carafe of coffee in the mess hall caused him agony. He could not even look at the door to her quarters when he passed by, and he knew already that he would never, never occupy them. The pain was too fresh, too raw. The chasm of empty years without her yawned before him bleakly.

At the end of his shift, he turned the bridge over to Harry Kim, who was pulling a double, and returned to his quarters. Once inside, he paced back and forth like an agitated tiger. Kathryn's memorial service was at 1800, and at that moment, he was in no state of mind to conduct it. He changed into his dress uniform, with his mind racing all the while.

_How am I going to make it through this without breaking in front of the entire crew? I can't even get my mind around the fact that she's gone. I can't even fathom how I am going to go through each day without her._

He swore under his breath, and leaned against the bulkhead, staring out at the streaks of light that were unfamiliar stars. He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. Not for the first time, he wished there were a ship's counselor on board.

"Spirits help me," he pleaded, and then remembered his medicine bundle. He checked the chronometer for the time, and then lifted the bundle from its resting place.

Carefully he opened it, and arranged the cherished contents in the middle of the unfolded leather sack. He gently fingered a lock of red-gold hair that Kathryn had teasingly given him after he complained about her haircut.

"Akoocheemoya" he began...

_He was in a small wooded glade near his childhood home. The silver she-wolf was walking through the trees, dappled in sunlight. She trod heavily, her tail dragging the ground. Chakotay knelt and beckoned to her with one hand. She came to him, and laid her nose in his palm, without much enthusiasm._

"_Sister, will I ever be without this pain?" he asked. She looked up at him, and her huge, moist eyes seemed to be sorrow itself._

"_Pain is a part of life that is inescapable, my son," came a voice from behind him. Chakotay turned and saw the wizened form of his father._

"_I know, Father. But the sadness in my heart is like a vise. I have people to take care of, and I don't know if I can do it."_

"_You are my son, Cha-ko-tay. You will not shirk your duty. Duty and responsibility give life purpose."_

"_She was my purpose, Father. And she is gone... I feel adrift."_

"_Do not let her be your rudder. Let your love for_ _her guide you along your path. Life is a journey in many forms and on many planes. It may be that one day you shall see her again." An idea suddenly occurred to Chakotay._

"_Is she here, Father? Could I see her now, during a vision quest?"_

"_She is not here, my son. Her ways are not the ways of our people." The old man shrugged and turned to walk away. Chakotay whirled as he heard something stir some of the tiny tree branches behind him. Leaves shook, as if a small animal had disturbed them, but he saw nothing._

_The wolf stood to attention, her gaze fixed on the area from which the sound had come. She whined._

"_What's wrong, sister?" he asked. She crouched down, and peered into the glade, ignoring him. She sprang suddenly, bounding through the trees, barking. _

"_Wait!" Chakotay called, but the wolf had disappeared into the woods. Cracking branches and rustling leaves echoed back to him faintly. He thought he heard the wolf bark. And then..._

"_Chakotay," came a voice he knew. It was floating, ethereal, drifting along a breeze. He turned, but no one was there. "Chakotay," it said again. _

"_Kathryn!" He called out. "Kathryn, where are you?" His voice was ragged and desperate. He walked into the trees, brushing branches away from his face._

"_Chakotay," fainter this time, as if further away. He careened through the forest in the direction that his spirit guide had gone._

"_Kathryn! Kathryn! Kathryn!" He felt out of control, screaming her name like he was out of his mind. He felt hands on his shoulders._

"Chakotay!" It was the frantic voice of B'Elanna Torres. "Chakotay, are you alright?"

"I – I – "he stammered, his eyes tripping back and forth between the chief engineer and her husband. "I –"he felt light-headed, trying to separate reality from his vision. "I heard her voice."

"In your vision?" B'Elanna asked, after exchanging significant looks with Tom.

"Don't look at him like that!" Chakotay snapped. He stood to his feet, and took a couple of steps, stopping to pinch the bridge of his nose, as if warding off pain. "I'm okay." He repeated it to himself, trying to make it true. "I'm – I will be okay." He looked around briefly, and then frowned. "How did you get in here?"

"We could hear you screaming out in the corridor, so we overrode your lock." Tom looked bemused. "We came to get you for Ca- for her- for the memorial service." He peered at Chakotay with concern. "Are you sure you're up for it?"

Chakotay bit back an angry retort. _They're only concerned about me. And they should be. I haven't exactly been in stellar condition, considering I'm supposed to be commanding a starship._

"I'm fine, Tom. I just – I thought a vision quest would help calm me down. I wasâ€agitated."

"Guess we debunked that theory!" Tom cracked, and B'Elanna phasered him with a look.

"Maybe you shouldn't try that again for awhile," B'Elanna suggested gently. Chakotay shrugged noncommittally, and hoped that the gesture would suffice, rather than an actual answer.

"Let's go," he said, by way of reply, and the three officers exited his quarters.

TBC


	8. Chapter Seven

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**Disclaimer:** See previous

**AN:** Thanks for the reviews so far. They really help me to keep this going!

****

**Chapter Seven**

When Chakotay arrived back at his quarters following the memorial service, he was wiped out. Mental and emotional exhaustion had taken its toll. His body felt as weary as if he had undertaken a week's worth of hard labor.

_The neck of his dress uniform felt uncomfortably tight. He stood motionless at the podium for a long moment, his fingers gripping the sides so hard that his knuckles were white. His eyes tripped over faces in the crowd; nearly the entire crew was present, save a skeleton staff on the bridge and in Engineering. Tuvok, standing at his new position to Chakotay's right, was rigid and stoic. B'Elanna's eyes were shining with tears, and her husband stood with one hand at her elbow, not meeting anyone's eyes. Harry Kim stood away from the others, with his lips clamped tightly closed, as if willing himself to stay composed. Neelix was dabbing his eyes with the hem of a somberly colored tunic, and Seven continued her observation of human interaction, if in a somewhat subdued manner._

"_Officers, crewmates, and loyal friends," Chakotay began steadily, staring at a point above the holodeck doorway at the back of the room. "We are gathered here today, to mourn the passing of Captain Kathryn M. Janeway...and not just to mourn her loss, but to remember and celebrate her life, as well. She was a strong-willed individual, an eternal optimist, and she had unwavering faith in her crew. She was able to see the potential in every person she came in contact with, and in so doing, drove everyone who knew her to perform to their utmost ability and integrity." He heard a soft strangled noise over to his left, and knew that it had come from Tom Paris, applying Chakotay's words directly to himself._

"_It was she who was the driving force behind _Voyager_'s journey home, she who had determined that we will indeed make it there, and it was not for her sake that she wished this, but for yours. Her only desire was for her crew to be able to see their families once more._

"_Captain Janeway had her failings. She was an exacting taskmaster, but that only built the characters of those who served her. She was a single-minded person, but that ambition drove her to greatness. She closed herself off from human foibles and relationships, but it was because she believed that it helped her be even more of an asset to her crew." He began to make eye contact with various crewmembers now, and began to speak from his heart._

"_I loved her dearly. A person may be unable to be all things to all men, but she was all things to me. I loved her in all the ways you can love a person, as a lifelong companion, as a best friend, as a commanding officer worthy of undying loyalty. Part of my soul has been ripped away, and I doubt that it shall ever be repaired." There were audible sniffs and sobs from the audience now._

"_I don't believe that she would want _Voyager_ to become a ship of mourning. I think that would grieve her more than anything else. I intend to honor the life of Kathryn Janeway by living mine: by commanding _Voyager_ to the best of my ability, by exploring new worlds and new civilizations we may encounter, and by some day celebrating again, with the completion of her most important mission...bringing her ship and her crew home. She would want nothing less."_

_He stepped down then, and the senior officers each gave a short eulogy, fondly recalling a moment with Captain Janeway that had touched him or her profoundly. He had managed to stay dry-eyed during the entire event, but by the time he arrived at his quarters, he was trembling from the strain of it._

He snapped back to the present, to find that he was standing in the middle of his quarters, with no idea how long he'd been in that position. A headache was pounding in his temples and behind his eyes. His chest ached, a dull agony that he was afraid he'd have to live with forever. He thought again of his speech during the memorial. _Brave words_, he thought derisively, _brave lies_. Just going through each day since the accident was a plodding, strenuous task. _One foot in front of the other, get up, get dressed, make it to the bridge, make it through your shift, go back to your quarters, try to eat, try to sleep. One day down, a lifetime of days to go._

He felt tears running down his cheeks, and wondered when he had started crying. He dashed his hands across his eyes angrily, and turned abruptly toward the viewport. _Damn you, Kathryn!_ _You get the easy task of dying, and leave me with the lifetime of enough regrets to fill a black hole._

His eyes fell on his medicine bundle again, and he looked at it speculatively. He started towards it, but hesitated, remembering how he had lost control earlier. Even the possibility of hearing her voice was too great a temptation, though, and he soon sat cross-legged in front of the bundle, eyes closed. He began to chant the traditional words.

_He was in the glade again. The she-wolf was nowhere to be seen. In fact, there was not a stirring or sign of life anywhere. Then he heard the light crackling of branches again, and very faintly, a distant barking. He began to run in that direction, even as he chided himself. Did he really expect to find her? The noise was too small to be a person, it was probably a squirrel or some other small animal._

"_Kathryn?" He called out, his heart pounding in anticipation. And then he had crashed through the last of the trees, and stood on the slope of a gently rolling hill. He stopped, confused. Where was he?_

_Then he saw it._

_A old-style farmhouse sitting nestled between two small ridges, like it had grown there, instead of being built. Smoke was actually puffing lazily from the chimney. He stared as it slowly dawned on him where he was....Kathryn's family home in Indiana. Exhilaration welled up in him, and he ran the rest of the distance to the house._

_He tapped on the front door lightly, and then entered, calling out, "Hello? Kathryn?" as he did so. Had he ever had a vision quest like this one? The settings had heretofore generally remained on Dorvan._

"_Can I help you?" came a formal voice, with an edge of what-the-hell-are-you-doing-here. Chakotay turned to see a strikingly handsome man in his 50s, in an older version of a Starfleet admiral's uniform._

"_Admiral Janeway?" he guessed aloud._

"_The very same. Why are you looking for Kathryn?"_

"_I – I just wanted – I wanted to see her one more – one more time, sir," Chakotay answered, a little befuddled._

"_And you thought she was here?" Edward Janeway spoke to him, as if to a very small child._

"_Well, I came here in my – my vision quest, and so I thought.." Chakotay trailed off, feeling foolish, and then wondered why it was fair for him to feel ridiculous in his own vision quest. "She's not here then?"_

_There was a noise behind him on the stairs. A tall, dark-haired young man, of about twenty-five was approaching, also in an older Starfleet uniform._

"_Justin Tighe," he introduced himself, extending a hand to Chakotay. Chakotay shook it wordlessly. "So you're the love of Kathryn's life?" Justin mused. Chakotay was unsure how to respond to that, so he said nothing._

"_It took her a long time to get over me. It's nice to know she finally has." Justin met his eyes and smiled. "It seems that she has chosen well."_

"_I loved her – love her very much," Chakotay said simply. "I heard her calling me, earlier today. I'd like to find her. Have you seen her?"_

"_I'm sorry we can't help you, son," Admiral Janeway said, sympathetically. Chakotay sighed heavily; the vision quests were not going to bring her back, were not going to assuage his heartache. He turned to go._

_And saw a flicker of a shadow cross the window. And recognized it. He dashed out the front door, just in time to see something flit around the corner, under the porch railing._

_A chameleon._

_Kathryn's spirit guide._

_Somewhere nearby, a silver she-wolf howled._

TBC


	9. Chapter Eight

**Disclaimer:** No ownership declared or implied.

**AN:** Sorry for the long delay in updating. I was hampered with the knowledge of what I wanted to accomplish without knowing how I wanted to accomplish it. Hope everyone enjoys. Thanks for being patient, and please review.

**Chapter Eight**

Chakotay started out of his vision quest for the second time that day, his eyes wild, his heart pounding. His mind whirled with the implications of what he had witnessed a few minutes earlier. His two quests had seemed disjointed, fragmented, but now he began to understand parts of it.

"Spirits...oh..I – she –"he started to go in several different directions, and ended up just staring at an empty bulkhead, trying to process the completely improbable. "No one is going to believe me."

His father's words came back to him..._she is not here, my son._ The presence of Admiral Janeway and Justin Tighe, seemingly unrelated, except for the fact that all three of them were dead. The chameleon. The presence of Kathryn's spirit guide, highly unlikely in his own vision quest, meant only one thing to Chakotay.

_She's alive._

And then on the heels of that came another thought, _Spirits, she's alive, and I just left her there. Probably injured, in the hands of hostile aliens. _His mind conjured up for him horrible pictures of Kathryn lost, alone, injured, tortured, forsaken. _My fault.... _He shook himself out of his self-flagellation, and slapped his communicator.

"Chakotay to Tuvok."

"Tuvok here."

"Call the senior staff to the briefing room, immediately." Chakotay's words were terse, urgent. His hands were trembling, and he could feel his pulse pounding in his ears. Any human would have probably made an inquiry, but Tuvok restricted his remarks to a succinct,

"Aye, Captain." Chakotay nearly smiled then. _If I'm right, he won't have to call me that for much longer._

--------------------------------------------

"Chakotay, what the hell are you trying to say?" B'Elanna burst out with her trademark impatience. Tuvok arched a brow at her, but said nothing.

"I'm saying that I went on a vision quest and I saw Kathryn's spirit guide. I. Saw. Her. Spirit. Guide." He repeated the words very slowly, as no one seemed to be realizing the significance of this.

"The Captain is saying the presence of Captain Janeway's spirit guide has led him to believe that she is still alive." Tuvok put in.

"But – but, her effects...the Torvalans... they said – they said she..." Paris tried to speak, but his words were incoherent.

"Then why didn't we pick up her lifesign from the ship?" Harry Kim asked earnestly.

"Maybe it was from the magnetic interference still present in the atmosphere." Chakotay was speaking excitedly. "I can't answer all the questions. But it doesn't matter. Don't you see...it doesn't matter."

"Chakotay, we saw you come out of your vision quest. You were upset, disoriented, trembling. Can you really trust anything that you saw at the time?" B'Elanna's dark eyes were worried.

"Let's say you're right, Chakotay – "Tom began. Chakotay opened his mouth to protest, but Tom held up his hands placatingly. "Just hear me out. So you're right, she's alive, and still on Torvala Seven. Why would they lie to us and hold her there? What could they possibly want with her?"

"The Torvalans didn't even know her...or us," B'Elanna interjected.

"If the rebels who planted the incendiary device abducted the Captain, then one would assume that their motivation for doing so would mirror their motivation for the terrorist act. If the bomb was intended to make a statement..." Seven's voice trailed off, but everyone caught her meaning. Why hadn't the rebels announced that they took her? Why had they not executed her, or demanded ransom or acquiescence to their terms? Instead, they had lied about her status, and _Voyager _had simply left.

_I left her there. I took her ship, and I left her alone on a hostile planet..._ the demons lashed Chakotay with their whips of guilt and self-loathing.

"May I ask, Captain, would you consent to a medical examination?" the EMH said, with characteristic tactlessness.

Chakotay rested his forehead on the upraised palm of his hand for a moment. He couldn't blame them, really. He had known when he called this meeting that no one was going to believe him. "You think I'm crazy." It was a statement, not a question. There was no response.

When he raised his head, every eye in the room was on him.

"I know each and every one of you as if you were a member of my family...you _are_ a member of my family. I know you only have the best interests of _Voyager_ at heart. I also know that you all know of my feelings for Kathryn. The bond was undeclared, but it was mutual, and I believe that bonds like that are stronger than distance...and stronger than death. I know in my soul that she is alive. I know it with every fiber of my being.

I am asking you to trust me. I know I can give an order, and _Voyager_ will return to Torvala Seven. I want the senior staff to be behind me on this." He paused for a space of several heartbeats, and caught and held the gaze of each of his senior staff.

"If you ever trusted me, if you ever served and trusted Captain Janeway, I am asking you. Trust me now." He was deadly serious.

Tom Paris stood to his feet, and adopted a formal stance, addressing Chakotay, but staring somewhere over his shoulder. "Shall we change course, Captain?"

Chakotay glanced over at Tuvok, who was observing with his fingers steepled together. The Vulcan merely nodded, a barely perceptible gesture. The corners of Chakotay's eyes crinkled, the only outward indication of a smile.

"Make it so, Commander," Chakotay ordered. "Dismissed." The senior officers turned crisply and without comment to their various posts.

------------------------------------------------

The time it took to return to Torvala Seven seemed much longer than it actually was...at high warp, only 9 days. The crew seemed on edge, jumpy, and out of sorts. Ayala's staff was called to break up fights in the mess hall twice. B'Elanna yelled at two ensigns under her command so fiercely, that one of them burst into tears. Chakotay had bumped into Harry Kim twice, as they both wandered the corridors of _Voyager_ at 0200, unable to sleep.

For Chakotay, any sleep was filled with nightmares of a hollow-eyed Kathryn, imploring, reaching out to him, asking him why. In his dreams, he always turned away from her, and woke to her pleading voice ringing in his ears. Soul-ache drove him from his bed, into the deserted hallways of her ship.

If they recovered her, even if she was unharmed, he knew the difficulty would lie in his ability, or lack thereof, to forgive himself. He argued inwardly, about how he had done everything that he had knowledge and power to do, but was unable to find absolution. _You left her alone, possibly hurt, on an alien world in an alien quadrant. You took **her** ship. _The accusing voice was getting to be familiar now, quoting an old refrain that kept him awake at night, and tormented during the day.

Late in Alpha shift of the 9th day, Paris announced that they had entered orbit around Torvala Seven. Tension on the bridge ratcheted up to nearly unbearable levels.

"Yellow alert," Chakotay barked. "Scan for the Captain."

"Scanning now, sir," Harry replied immediately. "No human readings on the planet." Disappointment was more than evident in his voice.

"Hail the – "

"Sir, we're being hailed," Harry spoke as his console chirped, before Chakotay could finish giving the order.

"Onscreen." A tall Torvalan male stood in their view, in state robes, and looking at the viewscreen the way one would look at something that had been scraped from a plasma conduit.

"What business do you have on Torvala Seven?" The man asked without preamble.

"I'm Captain Chakotay of the Federation Starship _Voyager_. We had met with your leader a few weeks ago, to discuss trade."

"I'm afraid Torvala Seven has undergone a change in leadership since that time. The _Ven'dek_ are no longer in control of the planet. Any trade agreement you had reached is now nullified. You may go." The screen reverted to a view of the planet, spinning serenely beneath them.

"Damn!" Chakotay swore. "Lieutenant, what are you getting with regard to transmissions on the planet." Harry and Ayala were both working their consoles furiously.

"It sounds like that conservative faction, the one that planted the bomb, has taken control of the planetary government. The leader is a man named...Valchau. First Premiere Valana's entire cabinet was executed. It looks like their assembly was also disbanded." Harry responded.

"So they've reverted to a dictatorship?" Chakotay mused aloud. "And one not interested in dialogue, evidently."

"Captain," Harry interjected. "The trade minister is informing us that we have exactly half an hour to withdraw from Torvala Seven, or our vessel will be fired upon."

TBC


	10. Chapter Nine

**Disclaimer: No ownership admitted or implied.**

**AN: Thanks for all who have reviewed. Please continued to review. It gives me incentive to keep going.**

**Chapter Nine**

Chakotay felt all eyes of the bridge crew on him at Harry's grim statement. They were still following him, but were unsure of what he was going to do next.

"If the Captain is being held, it must be against her will. Check any large facilities, medical or correctional. We've got to start somewhere. We experienced interference with our scanners last time we were here. Is there any way we can modify them, work around this problem?"

"I'm on it," B'Elanna said, striding crisply over to Harry's station to assist him. She pulled out a panel under the console, and began to reconfigure something.

"I'm reading five such structures in the metropolitan area where the Captain was lost," Harry replied after a few minutes. "Two medical, two correctional, and some sort of government dormitory."

"Tom, can you hack into their systems?" Chakotay asked. "We need layouts of these buildings, as well as knowledge of their security systems." Tom raised one eyebrow at him, and swiveled in his chair to make the attempt.

B'Elanna crawled out from under the console, and said, "I think I've got something. Let me double check the alignment of the main sensor array, and I'll let you know for sure." She called out the last phrase over her shoulder as the 'lift doors closed, completely in her element.

Chakotay glanced over at Tuvok, who was punching up readouts on the screen adjacent to his chair. "We have 23 minutes remaining, Captain," he remarked.

"I'm aware of that, Commander." Chakotay said, and the two officers' eyes met for a moment in understanding. "Find out how far their planetary sensors extend. Check out their moon; see if we could hide behind it, if necessary." He raised his voice to address the entire bridge crew. "Before we go through all this cloak and dagger procedure, I'd like to make sure that it's even feasible to get the Captain out." _Or that she's actually even alive_… the phrase remained unspoken, but resounded around the bridge as if someone had shouted it.

Chakotay tried to push back the doubt that had begun creeping over him. _You're crazy_, it hissed. _She's dead, and you've lost your mind. Even if you don't end up getting everyone killed, Tuvok will surely remove you as unfit for command._ He shoved the thought aside, and shored up his reserve strength, turning his full concentration to the task before him.

Tom's console chirped. "I got it, Captain. Floor plans, security protocols. There could be others that are more highly encrypted though."

"Good work, Commander. Load it onto a dataPADD."

"It's not gonna be worth much, if we have no idea where they're holding the Captain." Tom added.

"I know, Tom." Chakotay hit his commbadge. "B'Elanna, what do you have for me?"

"Harry, check your readout," came B'Elanna's order, by way of response.

"She's enhanced sensor acuity by 22!" Harry sounded astounded for only a moment, and then began his scan again. "I have her," his voice was nearly cracking in excitement. "One human biosign."

Chakotay clenched his trembling hands together, and managed to speak levelly. "Where is she?"

"In the dormitory."

"Can we transport her out?"

"Negative. There's some kind of security field in place at that end of the building."

"Of course." Chakotay muttered under his breath. He turned to Tuvok. "After we beam down, take _Voyager_ out of here at warp, until they're satisfied that we're gone. Take position behind one of those moons or asteroids. Avoid being detected, but stay in communications range."

"Captain – "

"Don't try to talk me out of it, Tuvok. I know I'm the Captain, but I got us into this, I'm not going to let someone else risk his or her life in my place."

"Captain, I was going to say, bring her home safely." Chakotay half-smiled then, and clapped Tuvok's shoulder.

"Paris, Ayala, you're with me. Tell the EMH to get his holo-emitter, and meet us in the transporter room." He strode to the 'lift, and turned at the doors. "Tuvok, monitor their communications. It would be best if no one realized we were down there."

"Understood, Captain." Tuvok said, and turned his attention back to the readouts.

Chakotay briefed the team in the transporter room, while handing out small devices. "Wrap these around your arm; they will help with beam out. Hopefully, while Mr. Tuvok cannot beam us into the shielded area, with these, he can beam us out of there. Doctor, up the frequency on your emitter… we want you out of there too.

"Paris, Ayala… you will be beamed to the lower level of the building. You need to disable the main power grid. Set off some alarms, start a fire or something. Distract them, and then get out of there. The doctor and I will retrieve the Captain.

"Doctor, do you have your medkit?" The EMH nodded. "Here, put these in there." Chakotay put several black, flat triangular devices in the bag.

"Triangulators?" Tom asked.

"The Captain probably no longer has her commbadge." Chakotay looked each of them in the eyes briefly. "We ready?"

The other men nodded. "Paris, you and Ayala first. We'll be about 2 minutes behind you…and 5 levels above you. Do your job, and get out. Understood?"

"Aye, sir," they said together, deadly serious. Seconds later, they shimmered out of sight.

Two minutes later, Chakotay and the EMH shimmered into a sterile white corridor. It was absolutely silent.

"Well?" The EMH queried, raising his eyebrows. Chakotay raised a finger for silence. He noted a small recording device mounted in one corner. It began to rotate in their direction. Farther down the corridor, a forcefield crackled a translucent blue.

"Come on Tom!" he said under his breath. Seconds seemed to stretch out into years. The recorder moved closer. Sweat began to form under Chakotay's arms, and he felt as if he were breathing loudly enough to wake the dead.

All hell broke loose.

Klaxons began to shrill, but were quickly silenced as main power went offline. Red, emergency lighting came on, but the halls were dim and eerie. The forcefield was down. Somewhere far away, they could here shouting and the sounds of running feet, but the sounds soon faded.

"All right, here we go." Chakotay jerked his head in the direction of the now defunct forcefield. The two men strode quickly down the empty corridor. "She'll probably still be under guard, but if we can get her away long enough to triangulate her position, we should be able to beam up without having to come back outside the shielding."

"Would that not be powerless as well?" asked the doctor.

"No. Paris's information said it had an outside power source." They had wound their way through many twists and turns, and the corridor came to an end at a T-junction.

"Which way?" Chakotay checked his tricorder. The biosign was to the right. They quickly continued that direction, and began passing doors every few feet.

"Cells," Chakotay hissed. "Check them." He began looking in the ones on the left, while the doctor took the ones on the right.

He found her in the fourth cell. She was curled in a fetal position on a narrow cot, sleeping peacefully. He wrenched the door handle, only to find it locked.

"Damn!" he swore violently. There was a keypad under the door handle. "They're password protected." He attached the tricorder to the lock through a data port, and hit a sequence of keys.

Numbers began to scroll rapidly up the tricorder's screen, and a "3" appeared stationary. A corresponding symbol lit up on the keypad. Numbers scrolled again, and a "7" flashed up next to the "3". Another symbol illuminated.

"This is taking too long, dammit." Power flickered in the hallways, and he thought he could hear the faraway murmur of voices.

"Captain…" the EMH had a warning tone to his voice.

"I know, Doctor. I can't make it go any faster." There was a "5", then a "2". Numbers continued to stream past.

"C'mon, c'mon." Chakotay chanted, as if to urge the tricorder on. Another "3" appeared.

He did hear voices now, approaching rapidly. He swayed on the balls of his feet, preparing to move quickly.

A "2" appeared. The numbers stopped abruptly. The keypad chirped and turned purple. There was a distinct sound of a latch releasing. Chakotay could have sworn the EMH had been holding his breath.

Chakotay turned the knob. The voices stopped, and then changed their tenor. There was a sound of running feet.

"Hurry!" Chakotay shouted, and the EMH began to toss him triangulators. He slapped them on the floor, and then grabbed Kathryn by the shoulders.

"Kathryn, you've got to get up. Come on!" She stood slowly to her feet, looking bewildered.

There was a cacophony of noise and shouting the corridor. Chakotay stood her in the middle of the triangulators. She opened her mouth to speak.

"Chakotay to _Voyager_, three to beam up."

The door crashed open, and Chakotay heard the sharp hiss of weapons fire. He turned to shield Kathryn's body with his own.

And heard the familiar whine of the transporter.

They rematerialized in sickbay, an arrangement obviously made by the EMH. Chakotay slapped his commbadge.

"Chakotay to the bridge."

"Tuvok here, sir."

"Did Paris and Ayala return unharmed?"

"Affirmative, Captain. How is the Captain?"

"Unknown. The doctor is checking her out. I'll keep you informed."

This had all occurred in a matter of seconds, and Kathryn Janeway had yet to speak. She looked around with frightened eyes, and backed away from Chakotay's approaching form, as Chakotay lifted his hand to close the commlink.

As it was, the link to the bridge was still open, when they heard her shriek,

"Who the hell are you? And where have you taken me?"

TBC


	11. Chapter Ten

**Disclaimer: **Not mine, wish they were.

**THINGS UNSEEN**

**Chapter Ten**

There was a long moment of stunned silence from both sickbay and the bridge, before Chakotay remembered to close the comm channel.

"Do you not remember who you are?" he finally ventured.

"I know exactly who I am," she was all Janeway-confidence. "I don't know _you_."

"Can you tell us your name?" the doctor interjected almost gently.

"I am Kalene. You have taken me from my husband, the leader of this world. He will come after you." This was spoken with calm assurance.

"You're married to Valchau?" Chakotay felt vaguely nauseated.

"You have the audacity to speak his name? Off-worlder?" Her voice dripped with disdain.

"Kalene, I am human… just like you."

"Yes, and Valchau took me in anyway. He is better to me than I deserve."

"You were in a cell!" Chakotay felt himself getting frustrated.

"I was merely awaiting the time when Valchau sent for me again."

"A harem?" Chakotay said almost to himself.

"How many wives does Valchau have?"

"He has the entire planet to choose from, and he selected we forty-three. We are fortunate."

"Doesn't that bother you… Valchau being with other women?" Chakotay spoke casually. The EMH glanced at him, wondering what he was up to. He began to surreptitiously scan the captain.

"Valchau is too much of a man to be satisfied by just one woman. I am blessed to be one whom he desires." Her statements were beginning to have the sound of those learned by rote.

The doctor had finished the scans, and beckoned Chakotay to one side.

"Just a moment, Kalene," he said, and retreated to a corner of sickbay with the EMH.

"What have you found?"

"Her brain has reprogrammed itself." The doctor continued quickly at Chakotay's startled take. "It would appear that she has been tortured. There is evidence of healed broken bones and some organ trauma as well. She evidently came to believe that accepting whatever they told her was easier. She has chosen to forget who she was, and believe what Valchau has said."

"Can you reverse it?"

"If it were something physiological, there might be a chance. But this is almost all of her own doing. She will have to undo it herself. She will have to learn to trust us and remember then truth on her own."

Chakotay sighed heavily, and opened a link to the bridge.

"Tuvok, what is our speed?"

"Warp factor two," came the reply.

"Increase to warp 6, shortest possible route through Torvalan space. We may have company."

"Understood, Captain."

Chakotay turned back to the doctor. "Can she leave sickbay?"

The EMH shrugged. "Physically, she is fine. I don't think I'd go too far, though. This kind of emotional breakdown can be followed by post-traumatic stress symptoms. She probably has nightmares. I – I am at a loss, Captain." The doctor faltered for a moment.

"I know the two of you shared a … special relationship. Showing her that relationship, letting her feel secure and safe, reminding her of what was good in her other life… this is what she needs to return to us."

Chakotay nodded firmly. He had never respected the EMH as much as he did at this moment.

"Can I – take her with me?" He asked at length, after a long moment of mulling in silence. The EMH nodded once, perfunctorily.

"Kalene?" Chakotay called out, approaching her once again. She turned, looking at him imperiously. "If you'll come with me, I'll show you where you will be staying."

As he led her into unfamiliar corridors, some of her haughty attitude began to diminish. Her demeanor became shadowed, almost fearful. When they arrived in her quarters, which were unchanged since she had left them, he showed her the washroom, the replicator, and lighting and temperature controls. As she looked around, he subtly disconnected the off-ship communications and access to some of the more sensitive areas of the computer core.

"I'll leave you now," Chakotay finally said. "If you have any questions or need anything, just call me." He pressed her communicator into her hand.

"What if I use this to call Valchau?" She asked in a challenging tone.

"You can't. I've disabled it for off-ship communications." She blinked at him, annoyed, but impressed.

He had nearly reached the door, when she threw him off-balance with a hesitant question.

"Will – will you be sending for me tonight, sir?" The abrupt change caught Chakotay off-guard, and he stopped suddenly, stunned. In three long strides, he had crossed the room, and took both of her hands in his. She tensed visibly.

He looked her straight in the face, and enunciated each syllable clearly.

"What Valchau did to you and all of those other women is wrong. I would never force anyone to be with me if they did not wish it. You are safe here. No one is going to harm you, and no one is going to treat you like an object."

She looked at him for a moment that seemed to stretch out for an eon, and appeared to be measuring him up. Evidently, he passed some sort of muster, for she stepped away from him and nodded, without meeting his gaze.

Once outside her quarters, Chakotay summoned two security officers.

"Stand guard. If she comes out, let her go where she wants, but stay with her. Under no circumstances is she to leave the ship." The officers took up their positions on either side of Janeway's door.

Chakotay entered his quarters a second later. As soon as the doors slid shut behind him, he heaved a great shuddering breath.

Great and heart-wrenching emotion washed over him like a tidal wave. He had been unable to process them until now.

_Great spirits, she's alive. She's here, back on _Voyager_ where she belongs. I thought I'd never see her again… I thought…_ his countenance darkened with anger as his inner conversation drifted to Valchau. _What did that bastard do to her? _Unwelcome images of rape and torture drifted through his mind, and he tried to push them away. _He's broken her. _And somehow, the thought of someone as stalwart and eternally hopeful as Captain Kathryn Janeway broken, hurt more than everything else.

He noticed that he'd been pacing the living area at a frenetic pace, and made himself stop. He went to the replicator, and ordered a herbal tea, hoping that it might help him calm down.

His exhuasted body and mind had other ideas. He sat on the sofa, and slowly drifted into an uneasy sleep, the tea forgotten and growing cold on the table.

Muffled screaming woke him some minutes…hours?… later. He jumped to his feet, causing the mug to clatter across the floor, spilling its contents.

When he careened into Kathryn's quarters, the security officers were already in her living area. He stepped ahead of them, and waved them back to their posts, with a nod of thanks.

Her eyes were still closed, but she was mumbling something, her legs moving uneasily under twisted sheets. Her bed was completely disheveled, as if she had been thrashing around on it, and Chakotay concluded that she probably had.

"Kathryn! Kathryn, wake up! You're having a nightmare," Chakotay knelt by the side of the bed, and shook her gently by the shoulders.

Her eyes fluttered open slowly, and she clutched instinctively at Chakotay's forearms, the fear of the dream still washing over her. Her haughty expression slammed back into position, once she realized who she was holding onto, and who was touching her.

"Release me at once!"

Chakotay tamped down a flare of annoyance, thinking that, at this point, he needed to keep her placated.

"My apologies, Kalene. You were having a bad dream. I merely sought to awaken you from it." He said formally.

The anger flashing in her eyes ebbed somewhat, and she regarded him curiously for a moment.

"You remind me of someone," she said at length.

"I remind you of me," Chakotay replied.

"That's not possible." Her voice was flat, refusing to accept anything he told her.

"Look, yo--" He stopped abruptly, unsure how to proceed. He'd been given an unexpected opening, and did not wish to ruin the opportunity by frightening her or angering her.

Inspiration suddenly struck him. _That just might work, _he thought exultantly.

"Come on," he held out his hand to help her from the bed.

"Excuse me?" She arched an eyebrow in such a Janeway-esque manner that Chakotay felt his heart clench within his chest.

"Come with me," he repeated. "I need to show you something."

TBC 

**AN: **Sorry this update has been so long in coming. The next chapter or two should wrap everything up.


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